Lies I’ve Told My 3 Year Old Recently
Trees talk to each other at night.
All fish are named either Lorna or Jack.
Before your eyeballs fall out from watching too much TV, they get very loose.
Tiny bears live in drain pipes.
If you are very very quiet you can hear the clouds rub against the sky.
The moon and the sun had a fight a long time ago.
Everyone knows at least one secret language.
When nobody is looking, I can fly.
We are all held together by invisible threads.
Books get lonely too.
Sadness can be eaten.
I will always be there.
we think we’re made of numbers. percentages on tests, pounds on a scale, likes on a photo, price tags on clothes. but we’re not. we are made of love and happiness and they way we laugh. we’re made of good memories and late nights and past-curfews. we have more substance than numbers.
“Colin has a magic beanie hat that prevents him from being recognised, If we go out, he’ll put the magic hat on and I’ll stand there and people will go, ‘You’re the bloke from Robin Hood’ to which I’ll go, ‘No I’m not’. Then it’ll be, ‘Sorry, Merlin’ and they’ll talk to me. Then I’ll go, ‘You see him?’ and they’ll look Colin square in the eyes and won’t recognise him. I’m always amazed!” -Bradley James.(x, x, x)
no but guys
someone told our professor that i had a fantastic pick up line and they made me tell her
DO YOU KNOW
HOW AWKWARD IT IS
TO LOOK YOUR PROFESSOR IN THE EYE AND SAY
“I MAY NOT GO DOWN IN HISTORY BUT I’LL GO DOWN ON YOU”
“I’M GOING TO TRY THAT ON MY HUSBAND”
New Jersey Haunted House This house was abandoned in 1913 in Cape May, New Jersey after the mother and father murdered their five children. The motive for the brutal muders has never been determined. Their farm and property was turned over to the Town and has since been a vacant shell of its former self..